[ZoLtAr1]

Buds;
I am dealing with a prob I have never had before. My Dad, 79 yrs old, is not the same person he was last year. He and my Mom, 85, live in Kanada.
The last few months, he has become someone I don't know. He is paranoid of the littlest of things, and it manifest's into major scenarios for him. They live in my house up there, altho I live in the USA. 3.5 hr drive for me to go up there. His grasp on reality has deteriated that it scares myself, and my Mom. He as told me of thoughts of suicide, and then jokes about them. He is on anti-depressants, and on his latest visit with the doctor, he told me he didn't tell her about his thoughts. Hence she did not realize that what she has prescribed are not working. I now must head back up there and attempt to talk to his doctor personally, and hope for some other form of medical help.
He does not have the full symtoms of Dementia, but some are there; as well as paranoia. They live in a house I own, but he feels it is contaminated with black mould, and that is why my Mom has difficulty breathing. *hello* I have told him that when you get older in age, as Mom is; that your body is not as efficent as it was years ago. But to no avail. He makes any tiny molehill into an impassable mountain.
Mom at this point seems more sane than he is, and is working with me to get him help.
Anyone out there having dealt with this, have any suggestions?
As I will be in Kanada, I might be outta touch for a few days, unless I can latch onto a wireless connection.
A friend has suggested that he just wants me to be there, so portraying these symtoms is just to get me there. But, I have a job/life here, and can only go up when it permits.
Sorry to vent, but I consider you peeps as knowledgeable in almost everything, so any ideas and support is welcome.

Tks in advance peeps.

 

[Pvt.Joker]

Dementia is a very specific condition; what *may* be happening is a bad reaction to a combination of drugs that, individually, may be safe but when combined may be at the root of some of these symptoms. When you get up there, find out from your mom EXACTLY what he has been taking, both perscription AND non-perscription, and then find a GOOD pharmacist that you can trust to go over the list with you and see if there are any reports of negative reactions to the interactions of the medications. Best of luck with it. If you can't find anyone up there you trust, I've got some friends in the medical field who I can ask here if you can get me the specific details. It may be as simple as changing a dosage, or a medication to some alternative that eliminates the problem. Hopefully, anyway.

 

[ZoLtAr1]

Tks for the response Joker; I'll make a list of what he is taking, and bring it back with me.
Like I said, this is new to me. Any help is appreciated.

 

[Roc Rat]

It sounds like the begining stages of Alzheimer's,, my mother passed away in 1995 after a long battle with it,,, I won't go into details,, its not pretty, its not a fair way to go out. Infinite patience and understanding are what will get them and you thru it all. They are right and are telling the absolute truth ALL the time,,, God speed.

 

[rugman59]

I have heard from many different sources that some antidepressants make some folks suicidal.
Never did get that one.
Good luck and hope your folks get better.

 

[franks71vw]

I am going with joker my grandmother was in the hospital and we thought she was totally gone could not recognize anyone.. well my mom was looking through her medicines and after talking with a doctor had a test done and sure enough some liver enzymes went through the roof and that caused her the problems. Everyopne in the hospital just said she is getting old.. If it is not normal behavior that you see question it and the doctors... Its sad but thats why doctors "practice medicine"

 

[phalanx]

Frank ,there are a lot of smart Doctors ,but very few good Doctors anymore.
They keep telling us we have the worlds best medical care, but sometimes from what i see that must mean the rest of the worlds is next to no care at all.

 

[Rory]

i've had to deal with this too. but in a great grandmother, a grandfather... now my girlfriends grandmother. it is hard to watch the decline. the intermittent moments of ok then lapses into the past.

we had to remove the firing pins out of my great grandmothers guns. we couldn't take them from her because they were hers and for her protection. but she thought that people were invading the house to steal all of her quilts. granted there were a lot of them literally a room stacked to the ceiling with only walk ways. that and the plethora of complete collections of depression glass that she had spent the previous 20 years collecting.

rory

 

[Bill S]

ZoLtAr1, you sound like you're just a step ahead of what I'm dealing with here. My father is a few years older than yours, but mental decline is starting to become apparent. Like yours, he will not admit anything to his doctor, but my mother has the same doctor and has agreed to discuss the situation with the doctor. Both of them are taking all kinds of meds, so that could definitely be a contributing factor. (The pharmaceutical industry, with the complicity of our doctors, tries to convince us that everything we need can be addressed by taking more drugs.) Also, neither of them are getting enough exercise, eating properly, or even doing anything that's mentally stimulating. Much of the problem we have with aging in this country is that we allow our minds and bodies to atrophy - physical and mental exercise is the best defense against "senility" (broad, catch-all term), along with poor diet and over-medication.

While your father may be showing first signs of a real medical problem, there may be more mundane issues causing the symptoms you describe. The best thing you can do is follow previous advice on reviewing medications, talk with the doctor yourself and let her know the scope of the problem, and get her to do a thorough work-up on your father. Take a good look at their diet and exercise patterns, and if necessary see if there is some sort of community support to get your parents involved in activities.

Good luck.

 

[xdevildog]

Went through a similar situation with my father about fifteen years ago. He had a series of small strokes over eight years that make him less and less able to communicate or move his body. The frustration in his eyes was a heartbreaker. Like Z I lived about 4 road hours away. Tried to get up to the house at least every other weekend. I found the thing that seemed to help most was just to load him up in the truck and get him out of the house. Being cooped up in there with mom for days on end with no control over what was happening to or around him was a big part of the problem.

We would go to a drive-in downtown and get a burger or, towards the end, a milkshake. Sometimes we would head into the hills for a drive. One fall after he lost the ability to talk I took him out for a short "deer hunt" at a spring about 30 miles out of town. Parked the truck at the edge of a clearing where he could see around and the sun would shine in on him, then walked around a small hill to a spot overlooking the spring. A half hour later a small three-point buck strolled up to the spring and I took him.

When I walked back to get the truck I backtracked the deer right to it. Dad had heard the shot and was grinning from ear to ear. That silly buck had walked right past him about twenty feet from the vehicle on its way to the spring. He died of pneumonia later that fall. I still count it as my best deer hunt ever.

 

[phalanx]

I don't know if it is true or not, but they do attribute this condition to Aluminum in our diet.
The Generation you see haveing the highest rate of this is our older ones who are still alive.
They were the ones who for 20 years cooked ,ate and drank on the new wonderful Aluminum cook wear.
Studies for this age group in other country's who continued using iron or SS ,don't show that same high rate of death or contraction of this disease.
It makes you wonder what is going to hit us one day , from Teflon ,Diet coke , who knows.
For ages they didn't know that lead was killing people.
Alzheimer's is a terrible way to go ,its like you just fade away.

 

[Rory]

there is a lot of AL in other things that people use every day. antiperspirant being one of them. generally the first ingredient. i have not used it for the better art of the past 10 years because of this. watching my great grandmother deteriorate was too much for me. losing my mind is one of my greatest fears.

r

 

[phalanx]

Rory the odd thing about this is no Doctors or Scientist are arguing that Aluminum doesn't cause this.
Some say they just don't know yet ,but evidence does seem to lean toward the findings that it does.
Teflon is another one they are starting to wonder about ,in relation to the rise in Parkinson's.
These are not the usual (everything will kill you crowds) only Scientist saying the evidence is stacking up in that direction.
It took advances in Medicine to find out lead used in the sealing of can goods ,was killing people years ago.
I love my old cast iron frying pan better than anything else anyhow.
To sit and watch our WW2 generation fade into the darkness is really hard on any family.

 

[rugman59]

I got rid of all my aluminum ware years ago.Nowhere is al mentioned as a mineral essential to the human or any other body.I'm only turning 49 next month and I know that I forget things that I shouldn't.Al was used a lot in my household.Deodorants ,antacids and many other products contain it.Even some sandpaper.Not recognizing local landmarks,intersections occasionally is friggin scary to say the least.The main reason I have been unsuccessful on many hunting trips is the fear of getting lost in the woods.Again.I was lucky when a guy drove by and asked if I needed a ride.I was going 180 degrees in the wrong direction and was POSITIVE I was headed the right way.Dyslexia is also a sucky condition.I bluffed my way through it like any man would do to keep my hunting buds off my ass.1981 my soon to be ex-wife fed me something that f-ed up my heart and my body hasn't been right since.I get palpitations every night if I work over 5 hours a day.The diagnosis said sudden death can happen anytime,anywhere.I gave myself up for dead and thank god for every day the sun comes up.
Feeling like my heart is going to pop is nowhere near as frightening as Knowing the gray matter ain't quite right.


Life is not fair and it can be very hard.

But it beats the hell out of the alternative.

When **** happens just do your best to wipe it off and move on.


P.S.,
Don't forget to wash your hands.


Best wishes to all.

 

[Rory]

whoa rugman what the hell were you feed that would do that?

al in deodorant: you would be surprised how fast your body adjusts to you not using it. if i have been in our warehouse for 8 hours i stink, but so does anyone else. your body does not need it. normal day to day stuff, i do not stink like you expect someone to who does not wear the stuff. i try not to drink out of cans even.

r

 

[phalanx]

I thought cans had a lining in them ? Like that should makes us feel better.
Losing the gray matter with Alzheimer's really sucks ,but it seems to be harder on the family and loved ones ,watching the once strong parent just fade out.
What was that old saying from the 80s ? I have one thing to say ,it is better to burn out than to fade away.

 

[Bill S]

1981 my soon to be ex-wife fed me something that f-ed up my heart and my body hasn't been right since.I get palpitations every night if I work over 5 hours a day.The diagnosis said sudden death can happen anytime,anywhere.

And I thought I was a bad cook!!!

Decades ago, when I was still a bachelor, I routinely cooked for myself and offered to share dinner with friends. Friends kidded me and avoided my cooking. It was kind of a joke at the time that the only routine visitor I had at dinnertime was the next door neighbor's dog. But I know it was not my fault that the dog died of stomach cancer.

 

[blackrifles]

AL is bad stuff, seen enough of what happens to older folks who've worked in it for decades, I'm not going to mention the name of the well-known corp, many of the folks were hired around/after the time of WW-II, ALL the ones still alive are slowly losing their minds. Not good when your wife's great uncle starts fires in hall closet at 1 AM, urinates and deficates all over the place, we recently had to remove/file down firing pins from his firearms and finally had his son take the guns, old man was found with Colt .380 auto in his mouth, trying to fire it but firing pin missing.

To top it off they put him on all kinds of meds last yr, in the beginning he was forgetting simple things and laughed about it, very social and I enjoyed listening to him for hrs, after the meds is when things really got bad, he's miserable/anti-social and full of hate. I asked them to switch docs/meds and investigate side effects of combined meds, his son won't listen and doc doesn't care. I'm trying to get him in VA hospital, his son isn't going for it, would rather hire cheap live-in (irresponsible) care person. If you ask me, the son and daughter-in-law can't wait to get hands on the estate, according to local auctioneer will sell everything (to highest bidder) the old man worked for.


Money doesn't matter when a loved one's life hangs in the balance, if you're cheap (like Dad tried to be) you get the care you pay for, the best docs are out there, just get plenty of advice from former patients. This doc has flown to the sand box for surgery on wounded soldiers, he's a veteran himself, so he really cares when a fellow veteran is at death's door.

My father had a life-threating medical condition, many of you read about it, Dad was in misery for almost 2 months and docs were clowning around, scared the hell out of me to see him going downhill fast. The whole time I was insisting he leave the local (hack) docs and seek a pro, he wound up having to go to Knoxville, to a doc everyone pointed me to. I'm happy to say within a week Dad was his old self again, I told him retirement (sitting on ass) almost killed him! He's still bummed out about KCR being canceled, was looking forward to meeting some of you, will do in Oct.

 

[phalanx]

It seems like the 40s had a lot of that going on ,out here it was the Nuclear Soldiers ,the troops they ordered to fall in and survive a Nuclear explosion.
These guys were dieing from Cancers they didn't even know what they were.
They did a test on the American and German WW2 Vets ,the Germans were not dieing off like ours are or from the ailments ours seem to be coming down with.
But for years after the war Germany was very backwards ,and had to live like they were in the 18th Century.
They couldn't afford Cigarettes while we were smoking our butts off.
Our Generation is coming ,it will be something for sure, Like we all go brain dead from watching Gilligan's Island while drinking TANG.
Or remember when they told you not to eat snow because it had fall out in it ?
Did that stop any little kid from eating snow ? NOT.