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· Mouse Machine Works
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If any of you have friends or relatives that send you those "every e-mail you send will recieve a donation for a starving kid" crap send them this one.
I mean after all, it's for the children! :D

I know you'll all want to help.

My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy.

My mother is typing this for me, because I can't.
She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was
born without a body.

It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a
burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy" and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it
makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates Will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that Jesus can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy is so sad and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10. If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and heartless ******* who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow, horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freaking' minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You,

Billy " Smiles " Evans
 

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Poor Kid, I promise to do everything I posibly can, for this poor bodyless child! I don't know why are government can't do more researh on this affliction. And I can't understand how us, a wealth society can allow this to happen to our youth!!
 

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Poster Child?

Could Billy be Hilaries poster child for her health care program, seems like a good match. Unless Billy is pro-gun, then she'll cut him to shreds.
 

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Amended version...

My name is Alamo Saddles. I am a very sick little man.

My friend Frank is typing this for me, because I can't.
He is crying. The reason he is so sad is because my gun and ammo collection is so limited. I was born without alot of money.

It doesn't hurt, except when I browse gun shows and gunbroker for guns and ammo. The doctors gave me alot of dummy guns. They are black painted 2x4s shaped like guns. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of me having no money or a rich relative.

I would like to have a shitload of guns and ammo, but we need more money. Frank doesn't support my guns and ammo habit because he said that would be kind of gay, and he has to buy guns and ammo for himself. I said, "Don't cry, Frank" and he hugged my wooden gun. Frank always gives me hugs, even though he's not gay and it makes his wife look at me real funny.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Nancy Pelosi Will team up with Hillary Clinton and send a nickel to BATFE. With that funding, BATFE will conduct guns and ammo buy backs, collect guns and ammo from others all over America and have the BATFE agents take them to our shop so that we can use those guns and ammo better. The BATFE agents could help me feel better then. Maybe one day I will be able to shoot hundreds of thousands of rounds of ammo. Right now I can only shoot two magazines per weapon when we go shooting. It's just not fair.:mad:

Every time you forward this letter, the BATFE can get more funds, do more gun buy backs and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Frank is so sad and I want alot of guns and ammo. I don't want my wooden gun to dryrot before I turn 10. If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Frank says you're a mean and heartless ******* who doesn't care about a poor little man with only a wooden gun. He says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, he hopes you die a long slow, horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freaking' minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, guns and ammo less thirty eight-year-old little man


(sorry frank...I needed a name to toss in there and yours came up.....):p

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You,

Billy " Smiles " Evans
 

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Lmao!!!!!!!!!
 

· LEGENDARY BULLY!
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We should all chip in and get Billy a leaf blower,, :)
 

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Toughen up kid!

Listen Billy, life is tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid. Have you ever considered a career as a scarecrow? Circus oddity? Fall promotions for a major retailer? Suck it up kid, things could be worse. Maybe mommy could learn how to prance her way around a pole??? If she ever does bring you into the 'Gentlemen's Club" make sure the patrons keep their cigars, lighters, etc, away from you. Tell mommy to try and avoid the burlap, and try something from Victoria's Secret instead. She is sitting on a goldmine, kid. Chin up........if you can.
 

· Mouse Machine Works
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
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